New Year’s Resolutions and the Consequences of Failure
Our marriage is truly the envy of our friends and acquaintances. Not that we EVER try to put ourselves up there as special; but people often spontaneously make those kind of comments, And since you are reading this here, you already know what’s next. Ours has been a female-led disciplinary arrangement since Day 1. Actually from pre-Day 1 – I received a ritual switching in the woods – with her seated on a log the day before. The disciplinary part of our relationship started with the Disciplinary Wives Club and Aunt Kay’s generous support.
I mention Aunt Kay because she taught to my wife one particular practice that has never failed in terms of promoting behavior change. It is simply “doubling” for repeat offensives. So in our home my wife’s rules are painfully clear; if I continue with a behavior she has corrected me for something doubles. I can pretty much count on that being the length or intensity of spankings. It also might be new or additional other punishment such as television restriction, really unpleasant chores, or whatever she, in her creative wisdom, decides.
Personally, I would rather skip the New Year’s Resolutions. But we always do them anyway. She takes them rather seriously and we have meaningful discussions about what the focus for the year will be. I want to be clear that these discussions are not “orders from the Boss”. We talk about health, happiness, finances, relationships with friends and family and more.
I am the one who ultimately makes the decision as to what my Resolution will be. Once we are in the process I do feel good about it. We have excellent communication and everything is based on what we believe brings the highest good to each of us. We discuss more than just “what” the Resolution might be. We discuss how I might achieve them and think about some of the potential obstacles. See, her goal is for me to be successful. She is not, in any way, looking for an excuse to give me more spankings (she doesn’t need an excuse when she senses one would do me good anyway).
Last year I chose to stop using curse words completely. While I am expected to present myself in a civil and cultured manner when we are with others, she has not really objected to my using occasional colorful language when it is just us.
The reason for my decision was that year we had house guests, a DWC couple from Europe, and my “occasional colorful” language emerged when they were around. The wife didn’t approve and it did not reflect well on my wife. So, we talked about it and I decided that I had no real need for that language and would be willing to eliminate it.
I have admit that it was more ingrained than I realized and that the doubling of spanking and restrictions was not only painful to endure, but it did cause some friction between us. I am thankful that she does not get deterred and does not tolerate a lot of what I was doing to cause the friction. Last year was the first time I got a tied down spanking from her and she has never had to repeat that again.
So it’s December and we will be having that Resolutions discussion soon. She doesn’t usually specify the consequences. But, I know that when I make a resolution, I am making a commitment to her and she is one who does not see failure as an option.