I absolutely love Angel's stories...and I know you will, too...
New Year's Resolutions that Need Breaking
Angel hated New Year’s resolutions, which is why she stopped making them when she was a teenager. It was also why she avoided Dana’s New Year’s resolution contest. Even though she was prohibited from winning due to the nature of their personal relationship, she generally liked to enter the contests anyway. She liked to write and Dana (good naturedly) encouraged her ramblings. However, she shied away from the game on this occasion. It hit too close to home. Even though she couldn’t win, it would likely give Dana some food for thought the next time they saw each other. Sometimes that was good for Angel. But sometimes Angel did everything she could to steer clear of things that were good for her.
Ironically, despite not making any official resolutions – Angel was doing remarkably well. She changed her eating habits. She was exercising. She had been motivated and productive and even impressed herself with these little changes. At least that’s what she told Dana whenever Dana was kind enough to check in on her. It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t even an exaggeration, really.
The only problem was that she was selectively truthful. She didn’t tell Dana about the things she did occasionally, like almost getting into a car accident because she refused to defer to another driver – preferring to die, or perhaps commit vehicular manslaughter as opposed to submitting to some idiot tailgating her. She didn’t tell her about some other choice behaviors she’d rather not mention. It’s not that she was silly enough to believe that good behavior automatically negated the bad, but she was playing this game with herself so that she didn’t have to hold herself accountable when she chose to take some time off from her new healthy routine. Unfortunately, this created guilt feelings and just kept the cycle – well, cyclic. But how bad could it be? She’d already lost some weight, her skin was glowing, she learned how to quickly and efficiently eradicate her to-do list, her house was immaculate, she was making preparations to return to school, she was reading, writing, working on her art. Yes, theoretically none of that mattered if she wasn’t going to live to reap the benefits of it because she’d done some self-destructive thing to sabotage her progress and quite possibly her life… but still.
She didn’t tell Dana all of these things, and Dana didn’t push for details when a little something slipped out in an e-mail but Angel had certainly said enough. She hoped Dana was merely ignoring these little sporadic confessions as opposed to keeping them stored in her head for the appropriate time. A couple of thousand miles away was not the right location to have such discussions, so Angel didn’t mind accidentally or even purposefully letting something slip out. Who knew how long it would be before Dana would be back in NY, anyway? And by that time she’d probably definitely forget all those little things Angel mentioned. If Dana forgot, it wasn’t really Angel’s fault for not confessing to anyone that she clearly needed help. Her half hearted attempt for attention had to count for something. In the meantime, Angel continued her routine of yo-yo’ing between exemplary behavior and behavior that threatened the foundation of her newfound progress.
But by the time Dana came back in town - that meant Angel was only half a mess. Since she didn’t have that unfortunate mishap of making those dumb new year’s resolutions, she really had nothing to be accountable for. At least that’s what she thought. How was she supposed to know Dana really would remember or that she would find out about her top secret resolution? Had Angel known that perhaps she would have avoided Dana altogether when she unexpectedly came for a visit, but the part of her that was half a mess didn’t have very good anticipatory skills.
Despite the rather obvious, she didn’t even anticipate being spanked. She didn’t want to be spanked. She had gone a little numb and rather didn’t care if she ever got spanked again. Maybe spanking was stupid. Maybe it was ineffective. After-all, with all the spankings Angel had received in her life - she should just about be the embodiment of perfection if spankings had any merit at all. Clearly, this was not the case.
Angel was very happy to see Dana and met her at the space she was renting for a quick hello. Dana looked lovely as usual and had on one of those outfits that meant she had either just delivered a stern spanking or was about to. Angel didn’t think much of it. She felt that familiar twinge of excitement for a moment (or perhaps two) but not enough to make her crave a spanking. She was pretty sure at this point she was over it and it was officially useless.
They spoke for a while, and Angel was extremely careful to mention all of her amazing progress but very deliberately made sure there was no mention of anything she might have done to undermine herself. That didn’t seem like a good idea now that the distance between them was just a few feet. Dana, polite and sweet as ever, made sure to offer Angel just about all the praise she could muster – and she meant it, but Angel suddenly felt guilty. Not guilty enough, however, to remind Dana that maybe she should tone it down a few notches; especially if she considered the tally of not-so-great things Angel confessed in a line or two every couple of e-mails over the course of several months.
After some time talking it was time for Angel to leave, even though she only half wanted to go. Dana asked her what the big hurry was but Angel was pretty evasive, awkwardly so – and couldn’t quite look Dana in the eye to give her an answer. She started to squirm and hurriedly put her hat and coat on, fumbling with the zipper as Dana studied her nervous behavior, clearly knowing something was not right but not yet able to put her finger on it.
“Angel, what’s the matter, honey?” Dana asked her, concerned.
Angel shook her head. She had meant to say “nothing,” but the word got caught in her throat, probably because it was a lie.
Dana was too perceptive for Angel’s good and gently pushed Angel’s hand away from the zipper with a half-scolding, “Stop that,” – which was following by a more stern, “and sit down.”
Angel complied without really thinking about it. Sometimes she followed anything that sounded directional – whether she wanted to or not. She was tempted to start with the zipper again but became terribly uncomfortable when she realized Dana was still watching her. Her heart was jumping a little like a teenager about to be caught with something she shouldn’t have. As much as she loved Dana, she wanted out of this situation. “Dana, I have to go,” she finally blurted out.
“Well it can wait a minute, Angel,” Dana firmly told her. “I can’t let you leave until you tell me what you’re doing. You don’t look right.”
At that fortuitous moment, Angel’s cell phone rang. She starred at it for a second, hating the fact that she didn’t put it on vibrate, and also that she never changed the dreaded ringtone. That would have been a good new year’s resolution to make. Dana looked at Angel, waiting for her to either answer the phone or silence it. To her surprise, Angel handed Dana the phone, an act that seemed entirely against her will even though it was her own arm that did the deed. Instinctively Dana answered Angel’s phone and was quite appalled at the stranger she found herself talking to on the other end. Angel shrunk a little in her seat and tried to block out what Dana was saying, only she heard the last line with remarkable clarity: “No, she is not going to meet you at the bar and if you contact her again you’re gonna get the spanking of your life.”
Angel was pretty convinced that Dana had just killed her with humiliation, but it turned out she was quite alive when Dana knelt before her and snapped her back into reality with her chilling demand, which she only half tried to disguise as a question. “Do you want to tell me anything, Miss Angel?”
Angel shook her head again. This was not a lie. She did not want to tell Dana anything. She tried to turn her face away from Dana to avoid having to look at her or speak to her at all, but Dana had this terrible habit of NEVER letting Angel do that and either gently guiding her face back into position or firmly directing her with verbal instructions to do it on her own. Angel had to be physically coerced this time to turn her head around. But she still kept her gaze down and her mouth shut until Dana gave her a mild but shocking slap on the front of her thigh. Angel finally confessed that the foul-mouthed boy Dana had been talking to was someone she just met randomly on the way over and decided to hook up with at a bar later despite knowing what an absolutely terrible idea it was and the clearly sexual agenda that this jerk didn’t go to any great lengths to conceal. But Angel had secretly had made a resolution to do things completely out of character this year to spice up her life and change things up a bit – THAT she did not let slip out to Dana - accidentally, on purpose or accidentally on purpose. Yes, she knew there were some boundaries that just shouldn’t be crossed.
Dana’s jaw dropped ever so slightly as Angel made her full confession. Her pretty blue eyes lit up a little with shock and something that might have resembled a hint of anger, except Angel couldn’t be sure because she was pretty convinced Dana never got angry.
Dana rose from her position and sat on the bondage bed, which was quite naturally higher than the chair Angel was sitting on – it made her instinctively try to rise to avoid the intimidation. Dana quickly squashed that with a gesture that told Angel to remain seated. “Why would you do something like this, Angel?” Dana asked, seemingly expecting to get an answer slightly less ridiculous than the one she ended up getting in response.
“It’s hard to say,” Angel replied dumbly, realizing immediately how stupid and provocative it sounded but making absolutely no effort to remedy it. Not even a little.
This didn’t strike Dana too favorably. Now she stood back up, making her presence very strong. “No it isn’t hard to say, Angel. I’m really disappointed you were going to go to a bar with a very foul-mouthed stranger who was definitely going to try to take advantage of you. And I didn’t forget those little things you told me in an e-mail. I also know you didn’t want me to forget them.” Angel had wanted to say something, anything, to stop Dana before this got out of hand but Dana was now on a kind of mini-rant that Angel didn’t dare try to interfere with. “So you want to be in trouble, Angel?” she continued, raising her voice a notch and apparently not really expecting an answer. “You don’t need to convince me you need to be punished. I’m going to spank the daylights out of you! Do you have any objections?”
Angel had tons of objections but she was too seized with panic and shock to utter anything intelligible. She couldn’t open her mouth to explain to Dana that she had decided to abandon spanking.
The room was silent for a moment as Dana took Angel’s hand, guided her off of the armless chair and took the seat herself. Angel was tempted to run because this could only mean one thing, but her feet were firmly planted on the ground.
“Take your jacket and hat off and come back on over here,” Dana instructed as she positioned herself comfortably in the chair. Angel listened. After-all – she sometimes just followed things that were directional, like giving a lewd stranger who was hitting on her her personal cell phone number and agreeing to meet him at the bar.
Dana seemed less than pleased, even though Angel had just done exactly as she was told. She looked up at Angel who looked pitifully back down at her. “Those puppy dog eyes aren’t gonna work this time, princess,” she informed her. “This is the last time I am going to ask you. Do you have any objections?” Angel was mixed parts frightened, stubborn and confused – which had the unfortunate effect of also making her mute. She refused to answer Dana. “Good,” Dana told her, “I’ll take that as a no. And today must be your lucky day because you know what else I didn’t forget?” Once again she continued without giving Angel time to respond. “Your list, Angel. I didn’t forget your lovely little list of your least favorite ways to be spanked and specifically what makes a spanking punishing to you.”
That was a little horrifying because Angel forgot the list until Dana just mentioned it. It all came back to her very distinctly as a firm and totally unexpected smack landed squarely across both cheeks. This made Angel mad, which was really a defense for feeling embarrassed – which in turn led to blatant stupidity as she fought back tears and screamed at Dana that the unexpected smack didn’t hurt. She went so far as to angrily spit out that Dana couldn’t hurt her with her hand, anyway.
Dana was a little shocked at this, not accustomed to this extremely rebellious and challenging behavior from Angel. This is not to say she shied away from a challenge, however – especially when the challenge-ee was a fragile little spirit trying to hold her own but going about it in all the wrong ways, in desperate need of guidance and direction. Dana had to make the split decision on whether or not spanking Angel was the right thing to do in this situation, especially because if she chose to do it – it was not going to be terribly pleasant for either of them. There was only one way to find out.
“Are you sure you want to talk to me that way, Angel? Because if you’re sure, it will be a few days before you can sit right again and I assure you I will only use my hand. You will be perfectly safe but not at all comfortable.”
Angel made some kind of very rude face at Dana, which answered Dana’s question and provoked her into tearing Angel’s pants and underwear down while she still remained standing and planting several extremely hard slaps to her quickly heated, completely exposed, bottom. Angel bit her lip to fight back tears, utterly mortified and regrettably, in pain. But she clenched every part of her body as tightly as she could and challenged Dana further with clearly debatable lies. “It still doesn’t hurt,” she insisted.
“Oh that’s okay, princess,” Dana told her, undeterred. “We’ll fix that.” With that, Angel had no idea what happened except that she was staring at the floor, over Dana’s knee with her left hand pinned behind her back. “I’m pinning your hand down now, honey, to save us both the trouble in a few minutes. You’re not gonna be able to hold still.” Dana really believed this and so also wrapped her leg around Angel’s to keep her from thrashing her feet around. Angel was trying to conceal her panic at being in this position, but her heavy breathing and quivering body betrayed her. Unfortunately for her, she was too proud to beg. She had to keep up the façade now. It was just a hand spanking. She threatened herself silently to retaliate in some terrible way if she started crying against her will. She was in mid-threat to herself when Dana took a second to rub her pre-reddened bottom. This made Angel's body instantly relax and unwind itself as she went a little limp over Dana’s knee.
“I know you like that, Angel,” Dana told her sternly, “but there’s not gonna be any of that today. I am really going to punish you. For the one dumbass resolution you did make that could have ended up with you in a pretty bad situation tonight, and of course for all those little things you had the gall to casually mention in a one-liner, but conveniently decided to leave out during our entire conversation today.”
Angel was caught. Now she was scared and beginning to realize what she had gotten herself into. She tested her position, she couldn’t move. And when she tried a little too hard, she was rewarded with a vicious series of slaps on the lowest portion of the middle of both cheeks, the wonderful “sweet spot.” That’s really all it took before Angel broke down, a good hard 20 smacks to that one spot and the tears were already pathetically streaming down her face. After another agonizing 20, she started to beg Dana to stop.
Much to Angel's surprise, Dana didn’t. “It’s just a hand spanking, Angel,” she reassured her in between incredibly hard slaps. “Maybe you think this is a joke, but you’re not going to be laughing for the next couple of days.” Dana kept spanking her, hard and fast – without any warm-up or slow-down. It hurt so terribly a paddle might have been more merciful. Angel was very much regretting her insolent attitude and poor decisions as she squirmed to no avail to try to escape being punished. Angel really didn’t understand why Dana kept spanking her. She was already well into crying. Yes, sometimes the tears were a blatant manipulation attempt to force an early end to a spanking she particularly didn't feel like taking or sometimes they came from a place of anger before submission – but this time they were real instantly, and Angel was convinced this should have ended her punishment. Except, it didn’t. Dana spanked her with relentless passion, at the expense of her very own hand!
Within a few minutes, Angel was crying so hard she couldn’t see and was pretty sure she’d made a puddle on the floor with her own tears. Her bottom was throbbing, and stinging and experiencing all sorts of pain combinations she didn’t think possible from a single hand-spanking. She was imploring Dana with a mingled mess of apologies and promises that came in the form of broken sobs and partial screams. But it was only when Angel stopped crying that Dana stopped spanking. Angel was in so much pain, however, it must have been a full minute before she even realized she was not being spanked anymore, or that her limbs were free. Dana rubbed her back a little and instructed her to breathe to prevent her from hyperventilating. She let Angel up shortly thereafter. Angel found it difficult to rise, so she slid onto the floor instead and landed her head in Dana’s lap, whimpering softly while Dana stroked her hair.
Angel apologized profusely without ever removing her head from Dana’s lap, but Dana was seemingly unconvinced one spanking was enough to remedy what was really going on here. “Angel,” she warned, sounding serious but not mean and not without continuing to comfort her – “If you make me take you back to Vegas with me, there’s gonna be a whole lot of talking and a WHOLE lot of spanking goin’ on. But I have a feeling you might benefit from a little extended behavior modification.” Angel started to cry again until Dana shushed her. She had no idea if the tears were from fear, relief, gratitude, frustration – or some weird combination of all of them, perhaps more. The one thing she did know is that maybe she needed to be spanked, after-all. And also, that she was going back to not making ANY New Year’s Resolutions and breaking this one: effective immediately.